So much like many others during quarantine, I started off in a secure relationship with the person who I thought was the love of my life. Naturally, with the forced long distance and the troubles of communication and navigatinh through unknown territory, there were strains placed on the relationship that count not be anticipated earlier in the year. About a week before classes started back up this semester, my partner ended things with me. I was completely devastated, and to some degree, I still am. I initially went into a dark Emperor Palpatine mode running around covered in a blanket 24/7 moping. But with time and supportive friends, I have been making progress toward healing, I would specifically like to thank my roommates Julia and Lizzie for supporting me and sticking with me during the difficult times.
When a relationship ends, I feel as if there are two routes a person can go down. The first is the path of self discovery and taking some time to be alone and work on their individual self. The second option is to go crawling back to the holy trinity: Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge. Those are the normal and typical options when you are thrown into the throngs of singleton, but with a pandemic, tinder hookups amd casual dating are not the safest option. Even if you choose to go on dating apps for some sort of validation or attention, always be safe. Tell friends where you are going, and always meet up with unfamiliar peoples in a public place. Always know it is okay to say no and to not do something you are not completely comfortable with.
At this point you are probably wondering where I am going with this advice column, aren’t you? So here it is: the great sign to not succumb to the peer pressure of what your friends around you are telling you to do. Take your time to be sad and to mourn the loss of a relationship at your own pace. It has been a month and I am still not over it. I have thoughts that I might have lost the love of my life and my best friend. I believe I would do almost anything to cultivate our relationship again. But, it is necessary to respect what the other person desires, even when it is not what you want. It is undeniable that it will hurt a lot, but it will be okay. Every individual handles grief and pain in different ways, and no one can judge others for how they choose to deal with it. Take all the time you need to fully heal and focus on yourseld and the things you have learned. Each relationship offers the opportunity to learn new lessons about what you desire in a partner, how to communicate in a better way, and how to love and care for someone else while simultaneously also taking care of yourself. This is only a short list of the many lessons we can learn from a past relationship. When transitioning into the single life, it offers the chance to learn more about yourself and what you want in the future, which will prove to be useful down the road in future relationships.
It is worth emphasizing that it is okay to take your time and to go at your own pace when navigating these sorts of difficult and challenging situations. It is necessary to take time to acknowledge your feelings and attempt to cope with them in the most healthy way. Keep finding new aspects of yourself that you love and did not originally realize were there. Send that text, make that phone call, write that poem, make that tinder account. Pursue what you want out of this life because at the end of the day, this is the time to be selfish. Pursue the happiness you desire, and once you find it, be willing to fight tooth and nail to protect and keep it.